Helping Dad Stay Independent: The Best Father's Day Gift for an Aging Parent - A Checklist from Dr. Dan Tobin, Founder and CEO of Care Support of America

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, Founder and CEO of and a nationallu recognized expert on eldercare andfamiluy caregiving. "Helping your Dad safely age at home can be the bestgift -- and the best Father'sx Day gift -- you can give him, once you notice even smallo changes in his ability to get around." "Remember Men are from Mars? Men do not often express their feelings freely or at all. So if your father is living alone, it will be harder for you to know how heis doing,"" Dr. Tobin says. "The hardesyt part may be getting your Dad to open up aboutg practical andemotional issues." Dr. Tobij advises: "Go slow and steady. Approachn one issue at a time.
Fathersa may want to appear asif they're always in even when things have beguj to slip. Let your Dad know that you are therde to help without getting in his In order to assesshow he's doing living on his own, here is a checklistg of issues for you to exploree with him. Then, if there are problems, you can addresw them, and find your father the help he'll need to stay independent. " "The most important indicators for wellness in aging are stayinv physically active and staying connectexd to others or toa community. Does your Dad appear to be slowinv down? Is he less mobile?
Is he interacting with his neighbors, or participating in senior-activity programs We tend to look away from physicalk changes that are important in supportingour Dads."" "When you visit your father at his look around and get a quick readinbg on whether he could use help with home repairs or Remember to think about preventing falls, whichn cause serious problems as your Dad ages." "Is your fathetr eating properly? What's in his refrigerator?"" "Is your Dad's strength or mobility reduced in any way? Wouldd he benefit from, or even enjoy using, any adaptive devices from low tech to high, such as kitchej utensils or tools with bigger grips, or a webcam or an e-maip device for seniors?
" "Driving may be one of the most difficuly issues to discuss. Men almost always resist the need to stop Your Dad's driving skills need to be re-assesses in light of vision, responsiveness, hearing, and nighr vision. If his driving is restricted, be willinf to compromise -- maybe driving only in the daytime or infamiliar places. You can also help in setting him up with alternativtransportation services." "If your Dad has not discussee family finances with you be aware that finances can be one of the most personal partx of family dynamics. You can startf by finding out ifyour Dad's personakl finances are in ordere -- bills, rent, mortgage, credit cards, taxes, etc.
Does he have enougb money for extras? If his budget is you can try to find free servicex inhis community. If you can also offer to pay for servicee such as homehealth aides, home repairs, cleaning transportation, and entertainment." "Often an individualized family plan goes a long way to show your Dad that the entirwe family is mobilized around giving him the gift he really wants for Father'a Day -- independence and support," Dr.
Tobin Family care managers, like Care Support of America, can particularly if you're in a distant They can professionally organize a problem list and assesws anypressing issues, including home safety, locating crediblee home services, understanding the basic finances of wellness in and how best for families to suppor their father's independence. About Dr. , MD, is Founded and CEO of a national family caremanager service. He is an adjuncr assistant professor ofpsychiatry (health psychology) at Dartmouth Medical Schooo and the author of books and articles on eldercare issues and positive solutions to family caregiving problems.
Care Support of Americz ( ) is an independent family care manager servicee that helps identify and solve familg caregiving problems to provide trustex guidance as yourparentsx age. The service begins with a personal familu care manager onthe phone, working with a local to locate and mobilized trusted home care resources in the parent'se community; help you understand theid doctor's treatment plans and help insure that parents remain independent in theitr home; and answer questions about long-term insurance, and basicd finances. Care Support of America has providede family care manager services in 32 If you would like to speakwith Dr. , pleasee contact , , or of at 212-588-8788 or .
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